1. After resigning, you have made your employer aware that you were looking and unhappy. Your loyalty will now be in question.

Is that true? How do you know? The theory is sound but would an employer really ask me to stay because they no longer trust me? I think this is 50:50 really. I can remember working for one particular employer where counter offers were made to people and they continued to develop and move up the ladder. In fact not resigning in your career with that business was a serious block to success!!

2. When promotion/raise time comes around, your employer will remember who is loyal and who is not.

Again, true. Is agreeing to stay a display of loyalty or disloyalty? Walking away from “an enticing offer” elsewhere and staying is surely a big demonstration of loyalty?

3. When making difficult decisions about cut-backs, the company may begin with those that are deemed less loyal.

No. Having been part of selection panels and working with clients making “cut backs” this has never been part of the scoring matrix. It is about what you can deliver relative to your cost of employment.

4. Accepting a Counter-Offer is an insult to your intelligence and a blow to your personal pride, to simply be bought at the last minute.

Surely it depends upon circumstance. If the candidate has not spoken to their employer prior to resignations about their motivations to leave then that is a bit embarrassing and a little stupid yet if the “new offer” (not just remuneration) becomes “better” than what they are leaving for, then who is the fool?? The one who takes it or the one who stays?

5. Where was the extra money for a counter-offer at during your last performance review? Most companies have strict wage/salary guidelines and may be simply giving your next raise early or buying time to hire someone in your place.

True and not true. Yes – serious issue is where is this money coming from? The whole thing about next year’s salary is a real issue. The “buying time to replace you”? Horse manure!! I asked recruiters who were debating counter offers on Linkedin for one piece of evidence to prove this to be true. Not one person (even the discussion “owner” who swore blind it would happen regularly) could name an incident where either they or a colleague had seen a candidate get fired or let go after accepting a counter offer. Not one. Where did this urban legend begin?

6. The same circumstances that now cause you to consider making a change almost always reoccur within the next 6-12 months.

Not if they remove the reason for you wanting to leave in the counter offer. Yes, more money does not feather a thorny nest. If I resign because of issue X and it gets resolved immediately to my satisfaction then surely it won’t occur again?

7. Statistics show that if you accept a counter-offer, the probability of voluntarily leaving in 6 months or being let go within 1 year are extremely high.

What statistics? Taken by whom? “Extremely high” I have seen replaced by 80% on some sheets. The probability of leaving in the next 6 months depends on why you wanted to leave originally and if your issues were resolved or not, surely?? Being let go.. That means fired, right? Imagine “please stay so we can fire you at our leisure” really being the case. Again, any evidence out there to prove me wrong is greatly appreciated.

8. Once the word gets out, the relationship you now enjoy with co-workers will never be the same. You lose personal satisfaction of the peer group acceptance.

Who will “let the word out” a disgruntled recruiter?

HR? A manager? “Guys! Just so you know Bob resigned so we gave him 10k more. If you want a payrise then write your resignation today”.

I don’t think there are many out there whose personal relationship with their co-workers is so weak that staying post resignation causes them to be downgraded or ostracized.

9. What type of company do you want to work for if you have to threaten to resign before they give you what you are worth?

Yes, yes, yes! Totally true and well worth highlighting to your candidates (and considering yourself).

10. Accepting counter-offers after already accepting another position burns bridges with other companies, your recruiter, and ultimately shows all 3 parties that you can be bought.

Isn’t changing jobs about being bought??  Does it burn bridges if done in a way to ensure that bridges don’t get burnt? Radio silence burns bridges. No explanation and thanks but no thanks. As for the recruiter…

So you may not feel the same as I do and that is your entitlement. In truth, relying on the above to get a candidate through resignation is clutching at straws. There are much more powerful, long lasting ways to ensure you don’t fall foul of the counter offer. True consultancy to guide your candidate to the right decision for them, you and your client. Relying on urban legends and recruitment folk lore is a bit thin for me. I fully expect to hear from those who swear by the above. Good luck to you! If this is your counter offer bible, I would love to hear some real stories about when these things really did happen to a real person.